When I was in elementary school I had a music teacher with loooooong, super straight, very blonde hair. Like waist length, stick straight, flowing blond hair. I haven't seen hair like hers since. I think she was a nice teacher, I even remember the songs she taught us, like the Laurel school anthem and the choral key practice runs.
Even though I wasn't in chorus.
In fact, I remember all of my classmates being smitten with her. But you know how when you're little, really complicated social concepts are really hard to grasp? Like a gay male teacher was just "weird" or adults who were flirting with each other were "creapy"... Well I had a vibe wayyyy back then that something wasn't "normal". See, I went to a school comprised mostly of non-white (nor Asian) children and Mrs. Lacount had something many of us had never seen up close. Loooooong straight hair. And she was pretty if my memory serves me.
Half of our school picture in like 1988-89! I'm in here in 4th grade.
I recalled all this recently and have been mulling it over ever since. I
I think I had begun to put together that they were kinda worshiping her and her hair, and I didn't like it. I think that feeling stuck with me and embedded itself in my psyche. I have an aversion to unattached human hair, particularly when it is of the straight variety. I have never had a loose weave, or human hair extensions and I actually freak out a little when I find hairs that aren't mine on my chair and such. (One time I found one in an ex's hat and had a fit! lol) Now don't get me wrong, I had braid extensions and can actually put them in my hair and other people's hair with the best of em. As long as it's kanekalon lol. I had all that going on at that same time in my life and adopted beads and tin foiled ends and burnt stinky plastic ends all to be a part of normal black life. But the loose, long, straight hair was alien and not to be embraced by me.
Even more so, my best friend was my white neighbor and we used to do each others hair (there was once a bad mousse incident in my hair- that's for another post) but her hair was kinda curly, not that long, and more of the brown variety. Her mom confronted my mom once to say- "Your daughter gets to do mine's hair all the time but she won't ever let my daughter touch hers." LOL. You all know why- and my mom had trained me well. Those braids and blow outs and ponytails were weekly masterpieces of natural haired patience.
But anyway... I think it's funny how you can watch things like "good hair" and see so many women who live and die by Indian hair weave, but then you can still meet black women who have never ever worn fake hair or sometimes ever had a relaxer. Our upbringing, and random impressions of beauty and blackness can start and end anywhere. You know, I would love to have like a dope bob with a bang and put my hair away for a while, but I've never had a weave, so now I just feel like I can't lol. And if I see a pile of human hair.... arrrgggg I dunno. I think I'd be outta there.
PS- I did wear a phony pony for a wedding and took it out that night. It was a bridal mandate though! and it was fake. I had a fake wig once too- a layered, cute one my same #4 hair color. I had styles for days in my house, in my mirror. But it never saw the light of day, and now it's gone. oh well.