Shea Debacle - Why it Hurts

I think I'm finally all caught up on the debacle surrounding the latest Shea Moisture advertising campaign.  Basically, they filmed a series of commercial spots around the "inclusive" theme of "Hair Hate" and they have released them all willy nilly - exposing an overall lack of sensitivity to the needs of their own primary market.  Many current and prospective customers are very upset and hurt while dealing with feelings of betrayal and abandonment. Scathing comments and testimonies are going up on Youtube, Twitter and Facebook, prompting a series of apologies and explanations from the company, which are then inciting further sentiments of disappointment and "You. should. have. known. better" scolding.

Personally, I am numb. I was admittedly a product junkie who ran to scoop up Shea Moisture Products (SMP) when they were released or when there was a BYGO sale at Walgreens. However, like many of my fellow highly textured tress possessors, I would have flocked to any product line that was available on the ground, ingredient centered, and offered any promise of efficacy on my coils. Before Shea Moisture it was KCCC at Whole Foods, preceded Carols Daughter at Macy's. Black owned, targeted product lines with formulas heavy enough to coat and protect my hair from breakage and dryness were worth spending my hard earned money on, worth blogging about, worth posting about on social and worth the space in my bathroom.

Why? This consumerist behavior feeds into the the entire concept and pathology behind "Hair Hate". I won't preach to the choir but when a woman gets self confident enough to try to embrace her natural hair texture when NO ONE has ever done so, any glimmer of caring or empathy becomes an oasis in a dessert. Or in this case, a mirage. Relinquishing unhealthy self image beliefs and behaviors is HARD, and some vestiges of it remain in the quest to tame, smooth and detangle the number and letter ranked micro curls and zig zags many naturals find them self faced with yet unprepared for. We're thus constantly on a quest to re-educate ourselves and personalize our hair care depending on what we discover at our roots. We build communities to shore up support, we rally to banish preferences for looser curls, we uplift and we create sisterhoods like only we can. Like everything we do, those sisterhoods are coveted by others who have no such defining feature or experience to share, so we defend our spaces.

And we end up here. We've painstakingly embarked to redefine our beauty standards and routines. We're in the middle of a battle with ourselves and the dominant culture. We're building businesses and centering ourselves. It's delicate work and betrayal can not be tolerated. Not by our men, not by our elders, and not by those who have pledged to serve us. The outrage caused by a "natural hair company" creating a mere snippet of media that equates our plight of acceptance and journey to re-educate ourselves with the plight of any woman deciding on a mere hairstyle is palpable. We are battling powers that go beyond style down to challenge our mere existence as humans worthy of love and respect. We have to ground our feet against an omnipresent current insisting that we CHANGE or hide who we are. That is not the same as being insecure or having trouble accepting "imperfections". This is known. Let me add my "They should have known better". Yet still I am numb.

We've been at this for decades now, some of us. Before there were products available on the ground, they were on the internet. I think any one of us who has been natural for over 2-3 years (15 for me), even amidst the plethora of new product options, has debated coming up with our own product. And again; why? Because nothing truely works for long. SMP were great, until I remembered that shea butter accumulates residue on my hair, thus the loss of efficacy, so now I need the clarifying shampoo (OOOoooo JBCO Shampoo), and now I need a deep conditioner (OOoooo Superfruit purple bottle something), and now I need to fight the frizz, (gel...flake free non-drying gel anyone?) The cycle goes on and on as does the search for the holy grail product after the one you thought you loved stops working or has a disastrous formula change (is my face breaking out?). So I have been off Shea moisture for a while, though Nubian heritage does have a scent I love. Whatever. What even is the goal? Is it to come up with a signature style? Something easy and pretty and reliably duplicable? Or are we growing it long? Longer? Longest. Too long, big chop time. No, the goal is to be comfortable and confident in our own bodies. The goal is to become familiar with our hair's natural proclivities and predict and create desirable results. The goal is to accept and love what God gave us by the act of working WITH it and not against it. So the whole Hair Hate vs Hair Love is really at the root of this whole war. Those are representative trigger words at the deepest level. This is complicated.

What I already know, what we all already know, is that they still can not center US at the core of "Hair Love" and have the message translate to the very people who hate us. The very people who make us hate ourselves. The concept of acceptance that we thought SMP was riding with us on, had to be simplified and diluted down to a conversation about hair styles to be synthesized into a 2 minute spot suitable for mass media. Which is just sad. It just pokes the sadness that rears its head after every survived micro aggression or pang of wistfulness followed by guilt when admiring some flowy bundles. Or the sadness that may result from failing execution of a coveted style that's not right for ones actual hair texture (wash and no? defined twist doubt?). Acceptance is an ongoing process in the face of external AND internal adversity and it often hurts without any extra poking. They poked a Tyrannosaurus.

I was excited for their brand, albeit one I was a bit distanced from, because I saw the baby line come out, then saw body care and "lighter formulas" start popping up in various aisles throughout the local drug stores. I thought to myself, now that Black business is going somewhere! Hair dye? Makeup?! Go head!! I was routing for you - we were all routing for you! If anyone had the knowledge of our plight coupled with the brand power to center us in a conversation about beauty we thought it could possibly be SMP!! I was ready to see African women with brown skin and naturally straight hair smile from my TV to discuss the "Light" formula line for straight or fine hair. Or the Latina touting the new wavy hair formula. AKA "This brand knows moisture because they were birthed by and for those who needed it most, and now they can expertly extrapolate their foundation goals to the greater market."

We've seen the reverse all our lives - "This brand knows how to make your hair oil free and shiny, they can expertly extrapolate their foundation to the alternative market and...remove...less oil...? And replace it with poison-oil...wait...we mean cocoarganshea extract..."

I, personally, was hoping we were finally seen by a brand as "beautiful enough" to be given a chance at the center. But this disappointment is not new. I'm hurt and disappointed because I now have to abandon my hope for what they could have done, who they could have been in the name of true love... I'm VERY well well acquainted with who they are. They are still a black owned business, they are still available on the ground, and their ingredients still aren't total trash. And I'm just sad.

A few of my favorite things

Aside from my KMF gel, Castor oil and plastic ponytail holders, there are a few other items that are always at short reach lately.

Hair! 

"Honey I'm Strong" conditioner by HE.
This conditioner has even more slip than the other Herbal Essence conditioners I've liked in the past. I've tried not to make HE my go-to however, because of the ingredients and strong smells.  Yet this one has a much lighter smell and the slip is unmatched.  It also seems to coat my hair, or have an actual protein/enriching effect within a few minutes.  It has the coating effect that KMF mistreated has, but with the slip I so desperately need.  Winning formula for me, and the cost and on-the-ground availability puts it close at hand.

Nubian Heritage Honey Black Seed Heat Protect leave-in cream
Though I don't press my hair or use direct heat that often, I picked this up a few months ago and was perturbed by the STRONG fragrance.  However it works wonderfully as a regular leave in and the smell quickly grew on me.  So much so that I also use the Honey and Blackseed lotion all over!  I now use this leave in instead of the Shea Moisture smoothie.  It costs about the same and a little goes a long way.  It provides great slip and long lasting moisture.  And now, for me, a smell that I love.

Nubian Heritage heat protect Keritan wrap mousse
I used this for my last two roller sets before pressing my hair.  It works so much better than Gel!  it's much lighter so my hair dries faster and it helps me layer in heat protectant before the flat iron hits my hair.  I get no flakes, just shiny light hair when I take the rollers out. Granted, I don't quite have the kind of hair that roller sets straight, so I still have some frizz and bumpy/loopy parts (can't wrap it) BUT it gets it close enough that one pass with the flat iron as I take each curler out is enough to smooth it out, but not loose the entire curl set by the rollers. It smells like nothing, and comes out as an easy to control and apply foam. I'm smitten.

Makeup!

Revlon Just bitten in Charm

I am a huge fan of stains because of my braces.  Lipstick can transfer onto my brackets at any time and is hard to remove without a trip to the bathroom. So I prefer stains. Over the past year I've tried them all and I have a few favorites, but most of them don't fare well in my purse and can't be applied without a mirror and precision.  These, on the other-hand, are a huge crayon lol.  Pretty foolproof.
Yet I still am not confident applying the darker colors without a mirror to make sure it's even.  This color, "Charm", is super light - lighter than my natural lip color.  BUT it actually stays put for hours, unlike the other stains which often don't come in light colors - and when they do they wear off quickly. I also wear "Precious" often, which is a little cooler. I can put these on like a lip balm and I can't go wrong with it.

Mode Nail colors and polishes
The difference is night and day when I use a Mode basecoat or topcoat vs any other, even with any other polish.  Mode polish does not stink and it does not chip.  It wears off, like it rubs off, but it doesn't chip and peel like most other polish.  Its cheap at $4 a pop and they have lots of colors. I keep seeing beautiful colors at the drug store and inevitably pick one up but unless I'm using a mode base and top coat I never get my money out of it.  Which makes me wonder if I should just stick to mode colors, period.  I have a mode (winter-not-doing-my-feet) nude on my toes and its growing out! Not chipping or peeling off.

Mode Mineral powder foundation and Kabuki brush

They have my color! I'm a yellow gal and they have a yellow powder! I've actually been using this powder for over a year and JUST ran out.  I ordered more and got the recommended Kabuki brush.  OMG.  I love it. love. it.  I previously used a MAC brush that I paid waaay too much for, as I am not really into makeup and brushes and such to begin with. I don't have any idea which it is- the salesgirl "sold" it to me.  It's cool.  But it is not this big soft, fluffy beautiful brush.

I'll stop there for today but I may keep doing these posts periodically. I have more makeup and even some bath products and home products that I can share if you all are interested!

Alicia and her mini-me- One Year after the BC!

Here is an update from Alicia who you last saw here, cutting 6 years of hair off.
Here she is, one year later!

I did it!  I have reached my 1 year nappiversary   

Even though this is my second big chop it was like learning how to walk all over again.  I am more informed via Youtube and inquiries with darling Nauralista this go around but I sill needed to find what works for me.  And I am still fine tuning.

For the 1st 3 months of my big chop I elected to try the curly girl method with what I believed to be unsuccessful results.  I co-washed 1 - 2 times a week with Suave Naturals and Tresemme Naturals and rocked only wash n go's.  By the end of the 3rd month my hair felt uber dry and didn't seem to be retaining length.  For moisture I rotated b/t Kemi Oyl's Shea butter pomade, Jane Carter Daily moisturizer, and whatever else was in my cabinet.  After not seeing and feeling what I knew my hair had done with my 1st big chop I quit the curly girl.  

For the next 6 months I washed my hair once a week with Zuresh full body cleanser.  I absolutely love this stuff.  It foams up great and leaves my hair feeling clean and smelling great.  Lucky for me I found some time to peruse Youtube and stumbled across KimmayTube's channel.  I was more than impressed with her technique, formal presentation and design of her channel, and logical and practical content of her information.  It just made sense, and to top it off we had the same hair type so I instantly became a fan.  

Protective styling was the band wagon I jumped on for the next part of my hair journey.  My regimen became washing and deep conditioning once a week with Zuresh and Tresemme Naturals, then applying KimmayTube's homemade leave in conditioner and doing small double strand twists.  I would do a twist out on the 2nd day and repeated this every week.  That KimmayTube leave in conditioner is the truth.  My hair was very soft, shiny, and felt my healthier than the curly girl method.  I finally began to see some growth.  Thank God lol.

My current routine still includes Zuresh, Tresemme, and Kimmay's leave but now I do a pre-poo with olive oil and switch up the conditioner to Garnier Fructis Fortifying Conditioner with Shea butter, Olive oil, & Argan oil (or aloe I can't remember) and now and again and do flat twist after the wash instead of double strand twists cuz momma is pressed for time!  I have also added Black castor oil to my routine, just on my edges to help stimulate growth there again. 

All and all I'm very pleased with my hair growth and feel.  I expected a little more growth than this but I have discovered that your body (and hair) goes through changes after you have a baby that may not be in the most desired direction. 

Speaking of baby.  Not only have I tasked myself with maneuvering my own hair journey but my infant daughter as well.  The change in her hair over the course of a year has been nothing short of drastic.  She went from the soft cute curly baby hair to fro and kink like her momma by the time she turned 7 months.

I am glad I taught myself how to braid from the 1st big chop - once her hair texture changed I went right into protective styling for her.  Use a simple Suave shampoo for her wash  and Talid Waalid kinky wavy kids detangler for moisture.  It's a struggle just to wash her hair so I do NOT condition her hair.  Go straight in styling and detangle each section as I part her hair for her conrows.  Since Kimmay's leave in has been good to my hair I have now switched from Talid Waalid's detangler to Kimmay's leave in for my daughter as well.

 Her hair growth is AMAZING.   At 3 months, she began to bald in the back of her head due to always lying and sleeping on her back.   It had me so nervous.  A routine of washing once a week and protective cornrow styling has proved to be the best option for her at her age and getting maximum growth.

How cute is the baby!!??  Any additional advice for Alicia?

Nubian Heritage and Shea Moisture, winning in the game?

So Shea Moisture and Nubian Heritage is winning in the game. They just released a hair color product to rave reviews, including the art on the packaging.

I feel like this and also the rave reviews and success of Curly Nikki's book Better than Good Hair are indicative of a shift in power as of late. WE can be successfully marketed to AS WE ARE, and not in a way that sells us a version of ourselves we can only "aspire to." It brings me joy, makes me smile, makes me believe we are getting a step closer to my whole "it's just hair" mantra. I love the energy.

I found this interview part 1 and part 2 and I can really respect the whole business model, and the fact these products are available on the ground, at Target and Walgreens for me, and AFFORDABLE.  Walgreens stays having a BOGO on these products :-)

I've posted about their products quite a a few times on this blog and I will some more :-)

Particular favorites of mine are the smoothie, the heat protect leave in (I now LOVE the strong smell, and even bought the lotion) and the wrap mousse gave me the best press yet after a roller set. I'm trying to figure out the gel and souffle and the milk was a little too light for me.  I am also still avoiding products that are primarily coconut oil based.  My skin is not giving me any wiggle room on that :-/

So is anyone going to try the hair color? What are your favorite Shea Moisture/ Nubian Heritage products?

They also make lotions and soaps. How do you like those?

Buff with a twist, possible protective style

I have been a wash and going fiend, even throughout the winter.  My dingle coil method works so well I just can't stop!

The trade off is that I may need to trim a bit more than is optimal for growing my hair out.  I am on the fence whether I really want to let it grow crazy, or keep it at a controllable bra-strap length.  I don't even really know that the fairy knots won't win out, as my hair is very fine and splitty and knotty as it gets older.

But meanwhile, I know the wash and goes need to be bunned or twisted as they get a few days old.  I have been defaulting to a half back look or something like in the picts below. The good old BUFF, with a twist or two in front.  The twist is necessitated by the fact I was even letting my bang grow out (alas, I trimmed it this past weekend in a fit of blindness).

It's a quick style I can leave in for a few days, getting me 7-8 days between washes.

Its just a big flat twist on both sides.  By placing the twist a little further back, the sections that create it are visible and create extra detail as you see below. 

So onto product real quick.  I decided to try out the Nubian Heritage Repair and extend Shine Gel.  You may notice that bit of extra shine in the pictures.  That stuff is shiny indeed.  But its very much like the Shea Moisture Souffle.  It's Sugar based, sticky and greasy and I feel like although there is potential, I can't quite figure out how to use it. The shine is excellent, the hold is medium, but it is moisturizing. Has anyone had any use mixing or using one of these products?  Let me know. I will continue to try things until I run out. I'll post shortly the experience I had mixing it with KMF gel.

Fluffy Wash&Go! Product combo I Like

It's been a rough week for me over here. One of those weeks where you spend a lot of time thinking and ruminating while physically balancing work, home life and social life yet there is nothing really even happening, but nothing... lol.

And there lies the rub. And the energy you thought you had all just goes in that hole with the nothing.
But everything still got done! And it many ways it was a great week, indicative of the changing season.

I have yet to set my hair for a roller set of any sort to kick start the fall.  But I have been doing more Bang and Buffs, and I found a conditioner I love.  Suave Professionals Black Raspberry and White Tea Color care conditioner.  It smells DIVINE, it has a ton of yummy ingredients BEFORE the fragrance and I could really feel a thickening and coating effect.  yum yum yum.

I love the smell of the V05 Blackberry and sage $1 conditioner, and this has that type of scent but the added hair yum effect for $2.50.

I did a co-wash with that and applied some Nubian Heritage Heat Protect Leave-In Conditioning Cream Honey & Black Seed. Now this stuff has a STRONG smell.  STRONG!!  Off putting at first because it's so STRONG! lol.

STRONG.

But it smells like a chocolaty hazel-nutty vanilla sandlewood sweet earthyness..... Not bad by any means... I was out once recently and a random girl was like wow you smell like cocoa butter, and the guy next to her was like... yeahhhhhhh... lol

But the smell has grown on me and a little goes a long way.  It's like the Shea moisture smoothie but is isn't as sticky and yet it goes a little further. It is also absent any coconut oil that I can decipher.  (oh I must tell you how definitively incompatible Coconut is to my skin!) So I used that and some castor oil and then a scant amount of my KMF gel because I wanted my hair to be big.  These picts are of day 2 hair, the morning after pinappling my big fluffy do from the night before.  (the first two picts I shot on a whim, before I put any makeup on, orrrrr took my eye makeup off from the night before lol. Excuse the morning face lol)

I really liked the way this combo of products played out!  It was soft and defined and the pinappling really stretched it out.  I'm back at APL so I get a little hang time.  PLUS, even without heavy gel, I got an additional day of "out hair" and today I have a high buff.

And if you are still with me- I promised a picture of my fancy painting job in my dining room.  I cleaned up in there and did a little decorating. voilà, magic. Or errrr, periwinkle....